Why I Only Have One

AJ turns 9 today. If you consider carrying the foetus in the womb as the start of motherhood, then I would have been a mother for 9 years 39 weeks.

AJ's estimated date of arrival was 11th Nov 2006. When I got to learn of the date, I was so happy. 1111 sounds very nice, right? As months progressed, I began to doubt that it would be 1111 because my belly was growing fast. I put on a total of 16kg throughout the pregnancy, and towards the end of third trimester I had many Braxton Hicks. I wasn't hopeful that it would be 1111 by then. Towards the first week of November, I had more or less an idea 1111 was off, I was secretly hoping for 7-11, I know, that was silly. Anyway, it was history, he popped on 5th Nov.

In AJ's growing up years, many people keenly asked when would the next one be. The truth is: there may not be even an AJ had I not 'strategised'.

My husband came from a family that has some medical problems and he thought that life on earth was a misery. He was not in favour of bringing another sinner into this sinful world. He doesn't mind adopting, and since I am adopted, I have no issue with adoption too. But I know that his thought was not in tune with what the Bible teaches. The two purposes of marriage are reproduction and fornication prevention.

... and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it:  (Genesis 1:28 KJV)
... to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:2 KJV)

And so during one of the pre-marital counselling sessions, I discreetly brought up this question for my pastor to expound. And yes, the husband-to-be then obeyed the Word of God and so AJ came along.

About 4 months after AJ was born, my mother (who lived with me then) fell terribly ill. I wrote that AJ was a difficult infant to take care of here and how the sudden death of my mother affected me here. With a difficult baby, the death of my mother and a hands-off husband (the husband does not know how to care for an infant), I had no energy and desire to pursue a second one.

Year after year, the desire didn't grow. I am fearful of yet another difficult infant with no available help on hand. I also have lesser energy as I aged. The little boy did ask for a sibling but didn't beg for one, so I left it as it is. In a nutshell, this was how AJ remains as the only child.

We are still open to adoption or fostering though. But it may not be the right time yet. There are some changes in our lives this year and possibly in the next 2-3 years as well. We shall see how the Lord leads.

For now, I wish my little boy a very blessed birthday. Daddy and mummy love you much more than you could imagine. We may not be by your side always, but remember, God will always be. He will take care of you.

No matter what may be the test, 
God will take care of you; 
lean, weary one, upon his breast, 
God will take care of you. 
God will take care of you, 
through every day, o'er all the way; 
he will take care of you, 
God will take care of you. 


  1. Happy Birthday, AJ! Also, 母难日愉快,Jenn.


Post a Comment

Popular Posts